Revised: 5/18/98

(Al, Fred, Grace, and Betty are sitting out on the porch. Al & Fred are drinking beers)

Al: So anyways, how do you think this Chan Gailey is gonna do coachin’ the ‘Boys? You think he’ll make a difference of be just another puppet coach?

Fred: Hell, he can’t be any worse than Barry Switzer. Look out! He’s got a gun! (they both laugh loudly)

Grace: Fred!

Fred: Well Honey, he ain’t got two brain cells to rub together! (mocking) Gee officer, I didn’t know that was in there. I must have put it in there to hide it from the kids. (Al laughs) So do ya think the Stars are gonna take the Stanley cup this year?

Al: Well I really don’t know. They’re in the running but I don’t think they have a snowball’s chance in hell…

Fred: Ha! Snowball’s chance in Hell! That’s a good one!

Al: That Modano though, Damn that boy can play!

Grace: I swear, all you boys talk about is sports. There’s other things going on in the world you know. (Fred looks at her blankly)

Betty: Oh, Grace, give up. They have one-track minds. It’s in the genes. (Fred and Al look at their pants, then at each other and shrug) Oh! Grace, could you give me a hand in the kitchen?

Grace: Sure. (they leave. The men watch them go)

Al: So anyway, did you happen to catch Ally McBeal the other night?

Fred: No! What happened?

Al: Well…Ally caught Billy and Georgia doing it on the conference room table late one night ‘cause they’re tryin’ to spice up their marriage. AND…that guy from "The Practice" came back.

Fred: Oh my God! You think Ally will get together with that Bobby Donnell? Damn, I always hoped she’d get back together with Billy.

Al: I can’t believe you missed it. I thought you always taped it.

Fred: I just forgot. Grace told me that there was this sale at Nordstrom’s and she wanted me to go to with her. Everything else seemed trivial.

Al: Well you have to have your priorities. (suddenly remembering) Oh, I didn’t tell you the latest. At the office yesterday, I found out one of the secretaries has been sleeping with the boss. (Fred gasps)

Fred: Get out! Which one?

Al: Tiffani. You know the one with the bad dye job. Natural blonde? Please!

Fred: Oh, that little tramp. Do you think his wife knows?

Al: I doubt it, I hear she’s too busy with her massage therapist. If you know what I mean…and I think you do.

Fred: She isn’t! Well turnabout is fair play.

Al: So did you find anything at Nordstrom’s?

Fred: Not really, BUT….after Nordstrom’s, we went to Florsheim and I saw the most darling pair of loafers. I just had to have them. But that shoe salesman kept trying to push the ones with tassels on me. He claims they’re back in fashion. I say they’re just overstocked.

Al: Well to be quite honest, I never really cared for them in the first place.

Fred: I just don’t want to have to go out and spend good money on a pair of shoes that won’t even last all that long. Like these Air Something-Or-Others that Bobby absolutely MUST have. $129 for a pair of sneakers? What’s wrong with the one’s he’s got? He does just fine playing basketball in those.

Al: So is he going to make the team this year?

Fred: Make it? Hell, he’s gonna own it! That boy is destined for a shot at the NBA. You know he’s got a real good shot at a scholarship. after that, on to the NBA. He’ll have Michael Jordan crying like a baby. (Grace & Betty come back out)

Al: Speaking of crybabys, how about that Pudge Rodriguez? I mean who does he think he is? Does he really need that much money? You would think that the Rangers could find at least 3 or 4 decent players for the money they’re paying him. And then, remember during the pre-season, getting him to show up for training camp was like pulling teeth.

Fred: Yup.

Grace: See, I told you all they think about is sports.

Betty: Boys will be boys.

Grace: All right you two, come on in, dinner’s ready.

Fred: All right Honey, just as soon as we finish our beer. (Betty & Grace leave). So anyway, I’ve been meaning to ask you; have you seen "The Horse Whisperer"?

Al: No, but I hope I can talk Betty into going. She’ll probably want to see "Godzilla" or somethin’.

Fred: Me neither. I have got to see it. I just love that Robert Redford.

Al: (as they leave-Lights start to fade) Well you know Butch and Sundance were lovers.

Fred: NO!

Al: It’s true. I’ve seen pictures.

Fred: Can I see ‘em?

[Blackout]