Spokesman: We here at the Blind Chance School of Driving believe that the art of driving is not so much a learned skill as much as it is an instinctive one. Here at B.C.S. of D. we believe in the old "Sink-Or-Swim" method.

There are no textbooks, classes or instructors here. We just throw you the keys and let fate do the rest. We won't even distract you by riding in the car with you. We'll map out a route for you so we can evaluate your progress and follow along (at a safe distance) so we can call for help or act as a witness on your behalf.

The whole thing only takes about two hours and if you haven't mastered it by then, it's obviously a waste of time. Here's what some of our previous clients have to say:

Elroy: I always thought that the best way to learn somethin' was hands-on. The Blind Chance School of Drivin' proved my point. I went in one mornin' last week and was drivin' that very night. Thanks Blind Chance! [gives thumbs-up sign]

Jane: My husband tried to teach me, but I couldn't concentrate with all his screaming. [goes blank, looking around the room, the Spokesman snaps his finges in front of her face] Blind Chance gave me the opportunity to prove that I could do it, despite my husband, for a very reasonable price. [goes blank again for a moment, starts to study her hand. Spokesman whispers in her ear and turns her head toward the 'camera'] And the doctor says that I should be able to regain all of my motor skills within 3 months. Thanks Blind Chance. [gives thumbs-up sign, starts examining her hand again]

Spokesman: Well there you have it. Testimonials from actual clients. So what are you waiting for? Come on in and get your driving proficiency certificate from a fully licensed driving school, The Blind Chance School of Driving.

V.O.: All major credit cards accepted. This school is not affiliated with The U.S. Department of Public Safety and is not responsible for any injuries or damages incurred.